Category: communication

When we are young one thing is certain: WE HAVE HUGE EGOS! Our egos are so huge that it is a miracle that we survived. As Stinger (James Tolkan) told Maverick (Tom Cruise) in the motion picture, TOP GUN (1986), “Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash!” Lucky for Maverick, he never cashed in or out (depends on how you look at it.)

It was a matter of time before our ego caught up with us or we out grew the false bravado and façades to be come the rational and in-control individuals we have become.

There is one thing to remember: we never grow up. There is always something or someone that will trigger your ego and there we go with irrational, emotional behavior. Sad but true. For some, it may be quicker and for others it may take a little more prodding but it will happen.

That’s OK, we are only human after all. We are not perfect. Sure, many want to believe they are perfect. Yet, perfection is subjective and thus; no one is perfect. I am not perfect; you are not perfect. Did I mention I am not perfect?

By recognizing we are not perfect and there will be times when we become irrational & emotional, we can then to work on improving ourselves. We can begin work on the rational. By being aware and cognizant that by being rational focusing on that, we can accomplish more, we can be more.

By learning the valuable lessons that come with falling into the trap of being/becoming irrational then we can focus on the rational. The focus we have, built on the mistakes and actions of the past, will only work if we can admit to ourselves that we messed up, that we fell victim to our ego, that we cannot blame anyone else for our own failures and shortcomings.

It is not easy for some people to confront themselves over the fact that the ego can be manipulated, easily triggered. Once we can overcome that hurdle then can we make some serious change to our life process. That is if you want to make a conscious effort to improve and leave the lack of focus, the irrational and emotion in the past, then be ready to work.

While, you will never be completely emotionless. Remember, in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Spock could not complete the Kolinahr, the Vulcan ritual to purge all emotions. He was half-human after all. So, what did he do? The only logical thing. This was to admit that he was also human and proceeded to live his life with his emotions. The learned that emotions were part of who he is and what he will be.

However, because he worked at controlling his emotions, the character of Spock, went on to be better and do better. The same can work for you and you do not have to be half-Vulcan. As a matter of fact, you can be 100% human and work on being clear and level headed.

You can do this by committing to being better, doing better, and working on focusing on the rational. It will serve you well when it comes dealing with people and situations that will tax you. Avoid them while you start the process of focusing on the rational. Of course, you cannot avoid people all the time. However, you can avoid those individuals that would be considered bumps in the road to your success.

Do what it takes with what you have but do not give up hope, deny patience, and most of all stick to your commitment to being successful.