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2024: CHAINS…ROPES…OH MY!

As we venture in our journey of life, there are somethings that happen that are meant to set us free, while others are there to anchor us to the world we live in.

Like a ship that is docked, it has ropes that keep it tied to the pier. That way it does not drift away in the night. When the ship is ready to set sail the lines are cast off and soon, it is on a path to places over the horizon on a course set by the ship’s captain.

The anchor is attached to a chain and when the ship is ready to temporarily stop, it drops anchor. When it is time to move on, hoist the anchor, and soon back on course to places over the horizon.
Do you see a pattern there? If not, that’s ok. I am going to explain it anyway.

Ships are built to head to the high seas. Ships are built to withstand rough seas. Ships are built to not only move from point A to point B but are also built to stay afloat, to stay above water.
As a Self-Leader you are also built to keep moving. You are NOT built to stay docked at any port for too long. You are also not built to stay anchored anywhere for too long. What does that mean?
It means that you are built to continue to grow, to develop, to become better than you are now.

While all this might sound like something I have said over and over before, it is because I have said it over and over. I believe in what I say. I stand by what I say. I have this passion for people to step up and be the leaders they know they can be and are. I stick to my passion because the message I share is that important.

Over the decades I have been on this planet, I have witnessed good and bad. Good things, Bad Things. Good People and Bad People. Though it would be easy to say that I have seen just about all there is to see when it comes to Good and Bad. I promise you I have only seen the tip of the iceberg. Of what I have witnessed, rest assured it still surprises me to the levels of Good and Bad people can and do go to.

That’s ok, I know that as a human being I am capable of going to those extremes. I opt out of that. No one is, no matter how much they try to kid themselves, no one is perfect. I am not perfect.
Sure, people can claim they live a pious life but are they really? A pious person would never verbally proclaim their piety for a truly pious person lets their actions and behaviors do all the talking for them.

On the other hand, there are individuals that revel in their unabashed devious behavior. The boasting and bragging of their deceit are certainly not something to be proud of or to be used as a tool to make others fear them. The pious and the deceitful have one thing in common.

They have their chains and ropes tying them down. Tying them down to live the braggadocios life they have chosen to use as a facade to mask their inability to cast off their lines and hoist their anchor to live a life they can freely choose to live. While some may argue that the pious or the deceitful are living the life they choose but at what cost? This argument can quickly become a circular argument thus, I offer this advice or words of warning:

As we venture in our journey of life, while there is no set time to cast off the ropes and hoist your anchor. You will know when the time comes. Only you will know when the time comes to set yourself free, especially when there are others trying to anchor you down or keep you tied to the dock in the name of keeping you safe. The world is not a safe harbor. The world we live in has rough seas as well as smooth swells all of which you are more than capable of handling.
Get to work!

Thank you,
David Guerra, MA, MBA

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2024: About Setbacks and Comebacks

While, last week I talked about Bouncing Back and Rising Strong. This week, consider it a continuation. This week I want to talk about the journey of setbacks and comebacks.

I do believe it was the great modern urban philosopher LL COOL J who once sang, “Don’t call it a comeback, I been here for years. I’m rockin’ my peers, puttin’ suckers in fear…”

In the song “Mama Said Knock You Out” LL COOL J starts the song after he has gotten up and made his comeback, of sorts. But is it really a comeback he is professing? I do not think so. Not at all!

Those who called it a comeback did so because they see who he is now and never paid attention to his journey.

That is OK as they really do not care about his journey, your journey, or anyone else’s journey.

At the same time, there are people that are only around you for the good times but when the bad times roll on in, they are nowhere to be found.

That is because they are on their own journey, they are trying to figure it out.
They are trying to navigate through their life but for those individuals, that journey is usually taking them nowhere or they only go in circles.

However, always remember and never forget just as others are on their own journey, you are on one, as well.

Your journey is taking you places to see and do things you have never seen and done before.

As you are on your journey do not worry about whether others are watching you now or not.

What matters is that you are watching yourself.

Watching what you are doing for yourself now matters the most.

Others will stumble upon you in the future and see what you have done. What you have accomplished.

They will see the person you are, at this moment, and not the person that had to make things happen, make sacrifices. They were not seeing nor worrying about the scratching, scrimping, hustling, and grinding you had to do to get to where you are now.

Those that show up in the good times are not going to see the struggles, the downsides you endured to get to the place you are right now.

Those kinds of individuals are known as “fair weather friends” and if you do not know what that is look it up. The definition may surprise you then again it might be a direct reflection of you. No surprises!

All I can say about that is nothing you can do or say can change the fact that “Fair weather friends” are the WORST kind of people to have around you and in your life.

They will be around you up until the time comes when you need them or something from them. Then, just like magic, POOF, they are gone. Disappeared. No Surprise.

On the other side of that coin, I would be remiss if I did not say something about those that were with you every step of the way.

Those few individuals that saw your struggle, those that saw you rise above and those that helped you when you needed help.

Those are the only ones qualified to call it a comeback because they know.

Now let me clarify before the wrong people start getting the wrong impression.

The people that have stood by your side for the entire ride are those who ate soup and ramen with you when times were tight.

They are the people that understood and stayed home with you when others decided they could not give you the time.

They are the ones that never pulled a punched when others thought it was funny to toy with you.

They are the ones that sat next to you as you cried because you were about to complete a year without a job and you were down to your last fifty bucks in the bank.

They are the ones that helped you get back up and keep going. They are the ones that never gave up on you and made certain you did not give up on yourself.

Those are the only people that are qualified to call it a comeback because they were there when you were at your lowest and they were there when it was time to celebrate.

The ones NOT qualified are those that would rather leave you stranded in another state because no flights are flying because to them any sacrifice was way too much.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones there for the glory but not the hard work.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones that used you as an excuse when they were up to no good and would rather blame you than accept responsibility for their actions or behavior.

The ones that are NOT qualified are the ones that tell you they do not want to talk about what is bothering you because as they profess to others that is what they are there for but ultimately, they do not truly care about you.

But when spotlight shines, like moths they are sure to return to bask in your light and then once the light goes out, they are gone, again (no surprise).

Then all you hear is crickets that is until the spotlight shines again (and it will).

See your story is still being written and in that fact the ups and downs will continue to occur.

So, pick those around you carefully and wisely.

Pick those that are there to bring positivity, love, and care.

Leave out the users, abusers, wannabes, and most of all leave out those that do not truly care about you unless there is something in it for them.

Only those that are with you, every step of the way, know your comeback and just how much that comeback truly means and as the late David Bowie once sang, “the rest can go to hell.”

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Self-Leadership – How To Make The Time

In the previous blog entry, I talked about how it was important to find the time. How everyone has the same twenty-fours and such. Now, I want to share with you about how to make that time. How to extract the time you need to expand on what is important while minimizing downtime. The next set of questions is where to extract the time from? What to do with that time? Then how install the coming change that implementing the new found time will most bring.

Make The Time

Making time and how to make that time is not an easy task. It is by no means anywhere close to being easy. Well, I exaggerate (a little). It is easy to make time if all you do day in; day out is waste time. If all you have in your life is time to goof around, play on the PS4, or go party with your friends, then yes making the time is easy. However, it becomes a difficult task when we are already doing the important work. The kind of work we do when we are in school, putting in the hours from 9 to 5, and those awesome side hustles.
All that and then we feel like we are still spinning our wheels? Well, no need for the anxiety to set in. Taking a few common-sense approaches will help identify the time, adjusting the time, and implementing the time changes. Let’s get started:

AUDIT YOUR DAY, WEEK, MONTH, YEAR

Auditing your day may take some time to complete. As some days look the same as the previous day, I guarantee you every day is not the same but you know this. While you are auditing your day remember to note everything you from when you start working, what is the first thing you work on, when you take a break, what time you take lunch and so on.

Once you collect your data, next comes determining what works, what does not work, and what you want to start working on, among other things specific to you. Additionally, the audit data collected will also show you things you may not want to see or believe. Good or Bad, it is all a learning experience. A learning experience in that taking a step back will show us who we really are because in a day-to-day setting we are knee deep in the muck that we don’t see all that we really do because it is just the norm.

IDENTIFY WHAT CAN BE CHANGED THEN CHANGE IT

After collecting, sorting and dissecting the data there is a bit more work to do. Now the raw data is going to reveal the truth. The whole, good and bad, truth. The honest truth of what you have and have not been doing will be revealed. It is now the time to get to work.

Now is the time to identify what can be change. To do this, you will have to (honestly) determine what are you spending too much time on and not getting return on that time investment. Next, extract from the collected data what are you spending not enough time on but need to give more time to increase the return on the expanded time investment.

The final step in the identification process is to identify and create the CHANGE you feel (from your gut) you need to make. Having determined the time to be moved, shuffled, re-organized, re-prioritized, and re-distributed you are ready. Next, comes implementation and putting to work the impending change(s).

WORK THE PLAN

When it comes to implementing change in your life there are three trains of thought when it comes to implementing and working on the change(s): all at once, one thing at a time, or clustering the changes. The latter two are more apt to take root in that anything that does not appear right or appropriate can be worked on, modified, adjusted. Unfortunately, this is a luxury that does not accompany the “all at once” option.

Take that knowledge for what it is worth, acting on the change “one thing at a time” is my preferred method to deliver and act on change. It will certainly increase the level of buy-in and acceptance. Sometimes, the want to change is not enough. Whereas, through slow and deliberate actions in the way the plan is implemented and worked will increase success.

Once the first change is implemented then another can safely be brought in and implemented. By taking those slow, deliberate steps you are on the path to integrating the next change. The plan is to make the change an easy implementation of the changes to you, your life, your mission, and goals.

Throughout the entire process or working the plan you have another set of tasks to do. Those tasks are being constant and consistent when working on the fit that working the plan will make. Be careful for once you stop being constantly consistent is when you revert back to your old ways. You will be negating everything you have done up to this point.

The goal was to make the time to work on those things that will make a return on the time investment you make. The goal is also to minimize the continued action of those things that are not generating the kind of return you seek. Thus, it falls on you to stay the course, always. Staying the course of progress and change will most certainly ensure you are making the time. Isn’t that what success is all about?

Thank you,
David Guerra, MBA