While, last week I talked about Bouncing Back and Rising Strong. This week, consider it a continuation. This week I want to talk about the journey of setbacks and comebacks.
I do believe it was the great modern urban philosopher LL COOL J who once sang, “Don’t call it a comeback, I been here for years. I’m rockin’ my peers, puttin’ suckers in fear…”
In the song “Mama Said Knock You Out” LL COOL J starts the song after he has gotten up and made his comeback, of sorts. But is it really a comeback he is professing? I do not think so. Not at all!
Those who called it a comeback did so because they see who he is now and never paid attention to his journey.
That is OK as they really do not care about his journey, your journey, or anyone else’s journey.
At the same time, there are people that are only around you for the good times but when the bad times roll on in, they are nowhere to be found.
That is because they are on their own journey, they are trying to figure it out.
They are trying to navigate through their life but for those individuals, that journey is usually taking them nowhere or they only go in circles.
However, always remember and never forget just as others are on their own journey, you are on one, as well.
Your journey is taking you places to see and do things you have never seen and done before.
As you are on your journey do not worry about whether others are watching you now or not.
What matters is that you are watching yourself.
Watching what you are doing for yourself now matters the most.
Others will stumble upon you in the future and see what you have done. What you have accomplished.
They will see the person you are, at this moment, and not the person that had to make things happen, make sacrifices. They were not seeing nor worrying about the scratching, scrimping, hustling, and grinding you had to do to get to where you are now.
Those that show up in the good times are not going to see the struggles, the downsides you endured to get to the place you are right now.
Those kinds of individuals are known as “fair weather friends” and if you do not know what that is look it up. The definition may surprise you then again it might be a direct reflection of you. No surprises!
All I can say about that is nothing you can do or say can change the fact that “Fair weather friends” are the WORST kind of people to have around you and in your life.
They will be around you up until the time comes when you need them or something from them. Then, just like magic, POOF, they are gone. Disappeared. No Surprise.
On the other side of that coin, I would be remiss if I did not say something about those that were with you every step of the way.
Those few individuals that saw your struggle, those that saw you rise above and those that helped you when you needed help.
Those are the only ones qualified to call it a comeback because they know.
Now let me clarify before the wrong people start getting the wrong impression.
The people that have stood by your side for the entire ride are those who ate soup and ramen with you when times were tight.
They are the people that understood and stayed home with you when others decided they could not give you the time.
They are the ones that never pulled a punched when others thought it was funny to toy with you.
They are the ones that sat next to you as you cried because you were about to complete a year without a job and you were down to your last fifty bucks in the bank.
They are the ones that helped you get back up and keep going. They are the ones that never gave up on you and made certain you did not give up on yourself.
Those are the only people that are qualified to call it a comeback because they were there when you were at your lowest and they were there when it was time to celebrate.
The ones NOT qualified are those that would rather leave you stranded in another state because no flights are flying because to them any sacrifice was way too much.
The ones NOT qualified are the ones there for the glory but not the hard work.
The ones NOT qualified are the ones that used you as an excuse when they were up to no good and would rather blame you than accept responsibility for their actions or behavior.
The ones that are NOT qualified are the ones that tell you they do not want to talk about what is bothering you because as they profess to others that is what they are there for but ultimately, they do not truly care about you.
But when spotlight shines, like moths they are sure to return to bask in your light and then once the light goes out, they are gone, again (no surprise).
Then all you hear is crickets that is until the spotlight shines again (and it will).
See your story is still being written and in that fact the ups and downs will continue to occur.
So, pick those around you carefully and wisely.
Pick those that are there to bring positivity, love, and care.
Leave out the users, abusers, wannabes, and most of all leave out those that do not truly care about you unless there is something in it for them.
Only those that are with you, every step of the way, know your comeback and just how much that comeback truly means and as the late David Bowie once sang, “the rest can go to hell.”
