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Accountability Change Ethics Inspiration Leadership Leadership Principles Mentor Morale Morality Motivation positive

2024: TAKE CHARGE! TAKE ACTION!

This week, I want to talk about taking charge and leading yourself.
Yep, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. You could call it my passion and that topic is SELF-LEADERSHIP.

For so long I did not know I was NOT actually in control of my life.
I was a people pleaser. I was the “nice guy.” The “don’t rock the boat” person. The Never Say No person. They knew where they stood with me. To people close to me and distant, I was just a shiny beacon for those that want to take advantage of someone, there I was.

For most of my life, I felt that was not in control of my life. Others were taking me in the direction they wanted me to go. Some had good intentions while others were just there to string me along for their sadistic pleasure.

Then over time, I started to realize that my priorities were wrong. I was willfully handing over power to those to use it or abuse it and use and abuse me, as well.

Then came a day when the breaking point was reached.

I had had enough of the lies, the manipulation and most importantly being blamed for their shortfalls and their inadequacies. I found myself in a place that something had to give, something had to happen.

It was time for me to TAKE ACTION.

It was then and there that I had to take a long hard look at myself and see where I was and where I wanted to be.

I re-assessed my place in life. Then I made the changes I felt I had to make to keep my marriage intact, free from third party influences, keeping myself present in the lives of my children. Just like that I had to do what I had to do to keep myself where I had to be as well as on the path to where I was going.

It has been a very rough road and as I am still on it, it continues to be rough. However, when it comes to being the leader of your world, a leader of your own life there will be times you have to do what must be done. That is non-negotiable.

What is also non-negotiable, is that you will be tested. Tested every day.

You will be tested by people that are looking out for your own interest.
You will be tested by people that are not looking out for you, at all.
Of course, there will be some that will not be test you but attempts will be made by individuals that believe you deserve nothing and they deserve everything you can give them. No questions asked.

These tests can be huge challenges when you find yourself worrying more about them than you worry about yourself.

However, these tests are nothing and should mean nothing to you as the only test you should take in life is you doing what you can to be better today than you were yesterday.

See, at the end of the day, there is a certainty that no one can ever change: you are responsible for yourself.

Many will fight you but at some point, in life, things must change, you must change. Remember change is part of growth.

A harsh reality is that at some point in our lives our parents will NEVER stop being our parents but they will stop parenting us and let us live our lives based on what they were able to do and NOT do in raising us, yet all the while they are hoping for the best for us.

People you once called friends may at one point or another stop being friends only to become someone you used to know.

And some people will attempt to gravitate back in your life but for what reason or why?

If they used you as a scapegoat in the past, are they looking to do that again? If that is the case, well they have not changed but you have changed. Remember that.

You are not that person anymore.
You are the leader of your life and your responsibilities.

It is not up to them anymore. It is all on YOU!

Your Future Awaits!

Thank you for your time,
David Guerra

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Accountability Change Leadership MBWA Morality Motivation positive Walking Leader Work Ethic

2024: Challenges & Opportunities

https://youtu.be/UUakqZZjI8E

As we go through life there are numerous certainties. Here are two:
One, we are constantly bombarded by challenges
Two, far too many times we fail to recognize those challenges as opportunities.

Folks, every challenge is an opportunity to grow.

Let us look at this way, opportunities do not come along as often.

However, as we are constantly being bombarded with challenges there is no escaping the opportunities that come with them.

Seriously, think about this, Day in and day out. Opportunities are all around us. There are of course, there are going to be challenges.

When it comes challenges, they are not as bountiful.

Challenges come in two flavors:

The challenges we inflict on ourselves.
and
The challenges we allow others to inflict on us.

Both types of challenges are actionable. Actionable in that we can do something about those challenges:
We can accept them and let them overtake us.
We can accept them and we can overcome them.
Or as far too many people do: Ignore them in hopes they go away but instead those challenges WILL steam roll you.

Where is the opportunity in these challenges?

Simple, opportunity is found in all three options.

The opportunity is there to make something good happen for you or to allow something bad happen to you. What you decide is solely and strictly up to you.

Another reality is that you do have control over what happens.

The harsh truth is that there are far too many people that would rather settle than to do something about their situation.

That means when they are faced with challenges, they would rather roll over, play dead, and let happen what is going to happened to them. That is WEAK!

They see the challenges but give up on overcoming those challenges and in turn they give up on themselves.

Because they gave up on themselves, they will never get to see the opportunities those challenges bring.

Giving up may seem like the easiest thing to do but when you give up it is the hardest thing you can do to yourself.

It is the hardest thing that you can do to yourself for one simple reason: The moment you give up on one thing, the easier it will be to continue giving up on other parts of your life and eventually you will give up on yourself.

Trust me on this. I know. I have given up on myself many times. However, one day an challenge popped into my life. I saw that if I decided to take it, it was going to be a huge challenge.

The challenge was accepted and the opportunity has turned out to be one of the greatest ones in my adult life.

It is truly up to you to take the challenges as they come and turn them into opportunities.

But remember, there are no opportunities when you would rather stick you head in the sand and avoid the challenges.

And if that is you? I wish you luck!

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Accountability Decisionmaking Ethics Inspiration Leadership Morality Motivation positive Tips Walking Leader

2024: About Setbacks and Comebacks

While, last week I talked about Bouncing Back and Rising Strong. This week, consider it a continuation. This week I want to talk about the journey of setbacks and comebacks.

I do believe it was the great modern urban philosopher LL COOL J who once sang, “Don’t call it a comeback, I been here for years. I’m rockin’ my peers, puttin’ suckers in fear…

In the song “Mama Said Knock You Out” LL COOL J starts the song after he has gotten up and made his comeback, of sorts. But is it really a comeback he is professing? I do not think so. Not at all!

Those who called it a comeback did so because they see who he is now and never paid attention to his journey.

That is OK as they really do not care about his journey, your journey, or anyone else’s journey.

At the same time, there are people that are only around you for the good times but when the bad times roll on in, they are nowhere to be found.

That is because they are on their own journey, they are trying to figure it out.
They are trying to navigate through their life but for those individuals, that journey is usually taking them nowhere or they only go in circles.

However, always remember and never forget just as others are on their own journey, you are on one, as well.

Your journey is taking you places to see and do things you have never seen and done before.

As you are on your journey do not worry about whether others are watching you now or not.

What matters is that you are watching yourself.

Watching what you are doing for yourself now matters the most.

Others will stumble upon you in the future and see what you have done. What you have accomplished.

They will see the person you are, at this moment, and not the person that had to make things happen, make sacrifices. They were not seeing nor worrying about the scratching, scrimping, hustling, and grinding you had to do to get to where you are now.

Those that show up in the good times are not going to see the struggles, the downsides you endured to get to the place you are right now.

Those kinds of individuals are known as “fair weather friends” and if you do not know what that is look it up. The definition may surprise you then again it might be a direct reflection of you. No surprises!

All I can say about that is nothing you can do or say can change the fact that “Fair weather friends” are the WORST kind of people to have around you and in your life.

They will be around you up until the time comes when you need them or something from them. Then, just like magic, POOF, they are gone. Disappeared. No Surprise.

On the other side of that coin, I would be remiss if I did not say something about those that were with you every step of the way.

Those few individuals that saw your struggle, those that saw you rise above and those that helped you when you needed help.

Those are the only ones qualified to call it a comeback because they know.

Now let me clarify before the wrong people start getting the wrong impression.

The people that have stood by your side for the entire ride are those who ate soup and ramen with you when times were tight.

They are the people that understood and stayed home with you when others decided they could not give you the time.

They are the ones that never pulled a punched when others thought it was funny to toy with you.

They are the ones that sat next to you as you cried because you were about to complete a year without a job and you were down to your last fifty bucks in the bank.

They are the ones that helped you get back up and keep going. They are the ones that never gave up on you and made certain you did not give up on yourself.

Those are the only people that are qualified to call it a comeback because they were there when you were at your lowest and they were there when it was time to celebrate.

The ones NOT qualified are those that would rather leave you stranded in another state because no flights are flying because to them any sacrifice was way too much.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones there for the glory but not the hard work.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones that used you as an excuse when they were up to no good and would rather blame you than accept responsibility for their actions or behavior.

The ones that are NOT qualified are the ones that tell you they do not want to talk about what is bothering you because as they profess to others that is what they are there for but ultimately, they do not truly care about you.

But when spotlight shines, like moths they are sure to return to bask in your light and then once the light goes out, they are gone, again (no surprise).

Then all you hear is crickets that is until the spotlight shines again (and it will).

See your story is still being written and in that fact the ups and downs will continue to occur.

So, pick those around you carefully and wisely.

Pick those that are there to bring positivity, love, and care.

Leave out the users, abusers, wannabes, and most of all leave out those that do not truly care about you unless there is something in it for them.

Only those that are with you, every step of the way, know your comeback and just how much that comeback truly means and as the late David Bowie once sang, “the rest can go to hell.”