Category: Training

Give Up on your Self-Defeating Self-Talk

Post author By Dave Guerra
Post date June 21, 2016

So you want to be a successful leader. You want to be the one that people follow no questions asked. Hey, who doesn’t want to be that leader? To be that kind of leader there are a few things you have to give up to be a successful leader.

Give Up On Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk.

What is Self-Defeating Self-Talk?

Self-Defeating Self-Talk is that talk we have with ourselves when things are not going the way we want them to go or when others are not doing or behaving the way we want them do or behave. It is that conversation we have with ourselves either with our inside our head voice or that voice that we say at a volume that is just below what the human ear can comprehend. Self-Defeating Self-Talk that is full of words we would hardly dare say to others but have absolutely no problem saying to ourselves. Usually, the self-talk is laden with words like “dummy”, “idiot”, “nitwit”, “dumb donkey”, “poopyhead”, and words like “can’t”, “cannot” “never”, “why bother” and “who do you think you are” will find their way into that conversation.

It is time to stop talking about yourself in the negative.

While you might be doing all the right things, going through the positive motions, and leading people down the path of righteousness. All of that is for naught if you have no problem talking about yourself and to yourself in the negative. However, just like any bad habit you try to keep under cover, eventually you will be caught. Your negative self-talk will be discovered.

People are always listening

No matter what you say, do, or want to believe people are always listening to you. That is one fact you cannot hide from nor avoid. They are listening when you think they are not. They are listening to not just your words but to your action as well. So be very careful with what you say and what you do. When those that follow you see you and hear you being negative. I do not know if it is human nature or not but people cling to negativity harder and longer than they do to positivity. It is as if positivity is garbage that has been in the kitchen waste bin a day or two longer than it should have been. Sure, we have to touch it but just long enough to get rid of it.

On the other hand, negative talk is contagious

Whether we say it aloud or just under our breath, negative talk is still negative talk and it does not take a Rocket Scientist to tell you negative talk is contagious. Once someone else hears that negative talk it is out there. There is no taking it back. Seriously, there is nothing you can do to get it back. Once that Pandora’s Box it is open it is can never be closed with all the negativity that escaped back in the back. However, the work begins to undo the damage done. The same applies to you. You must work at reeling that negativity back in and get it under control. As a leader, you have no choice, you must!

They will believe your negativity but they will start to believe it about themselves

When you fail to reel it back in then others will start to believe the negativity that you have been spewing. Your followers will begin to believe that you might not be the real deal. You might just be someone who lacks the confidence and the ability to lead. Because they follow you, they will also start to doubt their confidence and ability to become the kind of leader they thought you were. That, my friends is NOT a good thing. Your job as a leader is set in stone. You are to help make more leaders! Your jobs is NOT to make others doubt themselves.

Cease the negative talk and thoughts

You have your marching orders. Stop with the negativity, the self-defeating self-talk, NOW! It serves you no purpose to continue and it certain serves those that follow you no purpose. When you stop with the negativity, it gives others the opportunity to begin to believe in you, again. It gives those naysayers and other nothing they can use against you. So many might try but when there is nothing for them to swing at, what then? Exactly!

In the end, those that follow will start to feel good about you and being with you and following you.

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Bargaining & Change Management

Post author By Dave Guerra
Post date April 23, 2016

00-change The world is full of change. Yet, too many want to ignore it by burying their head in the sand. Others roll over and let it happen. However, too few honestly and openly embrace change. When it comes to change having a Leader manage and direct change is not only expected, it should be demanded, as it will most certainly be a wild and bumpy ride.

Change management is possible when everyone has a suitable stake in the change. However, the problem in managing change comes from the fact not everyone can have an equitable stake.

This is where controlling the change becomes an issue. One man’s cake is another man’s cupcake and the two shall never be the same. In managing change. There can be only one taking the reins of change. Leading, managing, directing change is not negotiable otherwise without it there would be nothing, not even organized chaos. Without leadership and proper management of change, there is still change.

In this case, change would be in the form of stagnation or regression causing external stakeholders and outside influencers to observe the organization’s inability to grow and lack of satisfaction among internal stakeholders.

Change in the modern workplace must be based on suitability and NOT equability. Suitability on the organization’s need to grow so all stakeholders are active participants of the function of the operation and not become former participants.

Thus if any bargaining does exist or come into play it is the leader’s will to dictate and drive the bargain exclusively on suitability. Meaning in business, NOT all things are equal and sometimes the good of the organization must take precedence over the needs of the individual or the few. If business operations were solely driven by those not in a position to make business decisions on a strategic level then the business would fail as the tactical side of the functions of business would quickly find itself lacking support, chiefly logistical and financial then the rest would follow much like a line of dominoes falling.

While change is good, having an organization not afraid to make change based on the good of everyone is even better. An organization that values its employees and other stakeholders will most certainly make change happen faster and better after having considering all issues. Thus, the true bargaining was done long before change even started.

No matter where you on the corporate ladder you are and how you react to change is pointless. It is pointless, as no matter how hard you fight it, resist it, or ignore it change is already here and it is going nowhere.