Welcome to the first Sunday of 2025. A day of rest? A day of reflection? A day of preparation? YES, YES, and YES.
This first Sunday should be the one that sets the standard for the remaining 50 Sundays. Yep, there are only 51 total for the year.
Setting Standards?
Standards are what keep you grounded. They help in getting you focused on what needs to be done and what you want to do. By addressing what needs to be done, you have a sense of accomplishment that you will want to repeat. Setting the standard now and adhering to it now, creates an expectation of wanting to repeatedly accomplish what you start and ultimately you will want to accomplish more. Then, over time, you get to incorporate what you want to do (Think Hobby Becoming A Passion).
Take the rest of today to work on the standards and get them set before the sun goes down. Do not delay. You will Thank yourself.
As we venture in our journey of life, there are somethings that happen that are meant to set us free, while others are there to anchor us to the world we live in.
Like a ship that is docked, it has ropes that keep it tied to the pier. That way it does not drift away in the night. When the ship is ready to set sail the lines are cast off and soon, it is on a path to places over the horizon on a course set by the ship’s captain.
The anchor is attached to a chain and when the ship is ready to temporarily stop, it drops anchor. When it is time to move on, hoist the anchor, and soon back on course to places over the horizon. Do you see a pattern there? If not, that’s ok. I am going to explain it anyway.
Ships are built to head to the high seas. Ships are built to withstand rough seas. Ships are built to not only move from point A to point B but are also built to stay afloat, to stay above water. As a Self-Leader you are also built to keep moving. You are NOT built to stay docked at any port for too long. You are also not built to stay anchored anywhere for too long. What does that mean? It means that you are built to continue to grow, to develop, to become better than you are now.
While all this might sound like something I have said over and over before, it is because I have said it over and over. I believe in what I say. I stand by what I say. I have this passion for people to step up and be the leaders they know they can be and are. I stick to my passion because the message I share is that important.
Over the decades I have been on this planet, I have witnessed good and bad. Good things, Bad Things. Good People and Bad People. Though it would be easy to say that I have seen just about all there is to see when it comes to Good and Bad. I promise you I have only seen the tip of the iceberg. Of what I have witnessed, rest assured it still surprises me to the levels of Good and Bad people can and do go to.
That’s ok, I know that as a human being I am capable of going to those extremes. I opt out of that. No one is, no matter how much they try to kid themselves, no one is perfect. I am not perfect. Sure, people can claim they live a pious life but are they really? A pious person would never verbally proclaim their piety for a truly pious person lets their actions and behaviors do all the talking for them.
On the other hand, there are individuals that revel in their unabashed devious behavior. The boasting and bragging of their deceit are certainly not something to be proud of or to be used as a tool to make others fear them. The pious and the deceitful have one thing in common.
They have their chains and ropes tying them down. Tying them down to live the braggadocios life they have chosen to use as a facade to mask their inability to cast off their lines and hoist their anchor to live a life they can freely choose to live. While some may argue that the pious or the deceitful are living the life they choose but at what cost? This argument can quickly become a circular argument thus, I offer this advice or words of warning:
As we venture in our journey of life, while there is no set time to cast off the ropes and hoist your anchor. You will know when the time comes. Only you will know when the time comes to set yourself free, especially when there are others trying to anchor you down or keep you tied to the dock in the name of keeping you safe. The world is not a safe harbor. The world we live in has rough seas as well as smooth swells all of which you are more than capable of handling. Get to work!
This week, I want to talk about taking charge and leading yourself. Yep, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. You could call it my passion and that topic is SELF-LEADERSHIP.
For so long I did not know I was NOT actually in control of my life. I was a people pleaser. I was the “nice guy.” The “don’t rock the boat” person. The Never Say No person. They knew where they stood with me. To people close to me and distant, I was just a shiny beacon for those that want to take advantage of someone, there I was.
For most of my life, I felt that was not in control of my life. Others were taking me in the direction they wanted me to go. Some had good intentions while others were just there to string me along for their sadistic pleasure.
Then over time, I started to realize that my priorities were wrong. I was willfully handing over power to those to use it or abuse it and use and abuse me, as well.
Then came a day when the breaking point was reached.
I had had enough of the lies, the manipulation and most importantly being blamed for their shortfalls and their inadequacies. I found myself in a place that something had to give, something had to happen.
It was time for me to TAKE ACTION.
It was then and there that I had to take a long hard look at myself and see where I was and where I wanted to be.
I re-assessed my place in life. Then I made the changes I felt I had to make to keep my marriage intact, free from third party influences, keeping myself present in the lives of my children. Just like that I had to do what I had to do to keep myself where I had to be as well as on the path to where I was going.
It has been a very rough road and as I am still on it, it continues to be rough. However, when it comes to being the leader of your world, a leader of your own life there will be times you have to do what must be done. That is non-negotiable.
What is also non-negotiable, is that you will be tested. Tested every day.
You will be tested by people that are looking out for your own interest. You will be tested by people that are not looking out for you, at all. Of course, there will be some that will not be test you but attempts will be made by individuals that believe you deserve nothing and they deserve everything you can give them. No questions asked.
These tests can be huge challenges when you find yourself worrying more about them than you worry about yourself.
However, these tests are nothing and should mean nothing to you as the only test you should take in life is you doing what you can to be better today than you were yesterday.
See, at the end of the day, there is a certainty that no one can ever change: you are responsible for yourself.
Many will fight you but at some point, in life, things must change, you must change. Remember change is part of growth.
A harsh reality is that at some point in our lives our parents will NEVER stop being our parents but they will stop parenting us and let us live our lives based on what they were able to do and NOT do in raising us, yet all the while they are hoping for the best for us.
People you once called friends may at one point or another stop being friends only to become someone you used to know.
And some people will attempt to gravitate back in your life but for what reason or why?
If they used you as a scapegoat in the past, are they looking to do that again? If that is the case, well they have not changed but you have changed. Remember that.
You are not that person anymore. You are the leader of your life and your responsibilities.
