Category: Ethics

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Accountability Change Ethics Inspiration Leadership Leadership Principles Mentor Morale Morality Motivation positive

2024: TAKE CHARGE! TAKE ACTION!

This week, I want to talk about taking charge and leading yourself.
Yep, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. You could call it my passion and that topic is SELF-LEADERSHIP.

For so long I did not know I was NOT actually in control of my life.
I was a people pleaser. I was the “nice guy.” The “don’t rock the boat” person. The Never Say No person. They knew where they stood with me. To people close to me and distant, I was just a shiny beacon for those that want to take advantage of someone, there I was.

For most of my life, I felt that was not in control of my life. Others were taking me in the direction they wanted me to go. Some had good intentions while others were just there to string me along for their sadistic pleasure.

Then over time, I started to realize that my priorities were wrong. I was willfully handing over power to those to use it or abuse it and use and abuse me, as well.

Then came a day when the breaking point was reached.

I had had enough of the lies, the manipulation and most importantly being blamed for their shortfalls and their inadequacies. I found myself in a place that something had to give, something had to happen.

It was time for me to TAKE ACTION.

It was then and there that I had to take a long hard look at myself and see where I was and where I wanted to be.

I re-assessed my place in life. Then I made the changes I felt I had to make to keep my marriage intact, free from third party influences, keeping myself present in the lives of my children. Just like that I had to do what I had to do to keep myself where I had to be as well as on the path to where I was going.

It has been a very rough road and as I am still on it, it continues to be rough. However, when it comes to being the leader of your world, a leader of your own life there will be times you have to do what must be done. That is non-negotiable.

What is also non-negotiable, is that you will be tested. Tested every day.

You will be tested by people that are looking out for your own interest.
You will be tested by people that are not looking out for you, at all.
Of course, there will be some that will not be test you but attempts will be made by individuals that believe you deserve nothing and they deserve everything you can give them. No questions asked.

These tests can be huge challenges when you find yourself worrying more about them than you worry about yourself.

However, these tests are nothing and should mean nothing to you as the only test you should take in life is you doing what you can to be better today than you were yesterday.

See, at the end of the day, there is a certainty that no one can ever change: you are responsible for yourself.

Many will fight you but at some point, in life, things must change, you must change. Remember change is part of growth.

A harsh reality is that at some point in our lives our parents will NEVER stop being our parents but they will stop parenting us and let us live our lives based on what they were able to do and NOT do in raising us, yet all the while they are hoping for the best for us.

People you once called friends may at one point or another stop being friends only to become someone you used to know.

And some people will attempt to gravitate back in your life but for what reason or why?

If they used you as a scapegoat in the past, are they looking to do that again? If that is the case, well they have not changed but you have changed. Remember that.

You are not that person anymore.
You are the leader of your life and your responsibilities.

It is not up to them anymore. It is all on YOU!

Your Future Awaits!

Thank you for your time,
David Guerra

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Accountability blog Change Decisionmaking Ethics Inspiration Leadership Motivation positive

2024: Take All The Steps Forward

Welcome.
All my life it has been my privileged honor to be witness some wonderful things, places, events, and people.
At the same time, I have witnessed some of the most inhumane things that man can do to another man, either in the name of the family, pride, ego, religion, greed, or gluttony or any combination thereof.
All the while both, the good and the bad, have inspired me to keep moving forward.
Now, moving forward means that you will continue to encounter things that will challenge you, that will motivate you, and of course, things that will make you stop dead in your tracks.
However, none of that should cause or prevent you from moving forward. From taking that next step and the next step after that and so on.
Remember, it is the journey and not the destination is the true adventure.
No matter the destination, the journey begins with the first step. However, the real journey takes place when you take that second, third, fourth and every step afterward moving forward.
Over my lifetime I have seen so many individuals be celebrated for the journey they are about to undertake. They make the plans, take that first step, then nothing.
Nothing because they failed to consider the next step and all the other steps ahead of them.
The first time I saw this was back in High School when a “football player” receive a FULL ride scholarship to Notre Dame university. Big fanfare, a huge accolade for what today would be a slightly above average high school football player. So, this guy leaves and the next thing I know he is an office manager at his father’s real estate agency. See he could not hack it, both academically and athletically.
He may have been a big fish in the small pond that was high school, so naturally college was going to be a cake-walk or so he thought. Like so many others that have had reality slap them in the face, he was wrong and properly awaken to the real world.
Once on campus, yes, he did make it to the Notre Dame campus, but he quickly found himself as a tiny guppy in a huge pond full of piranhas. He was no longer big man on campus.
Now he was just like everyone else. Just like everyone else.
This is where being the big man on campus becomes a huge disservice to anyone who always had it handed to them and never held accountable for their actions or inactions and in turn this guy never thought he had to ask for help. Because as I mentioned he had everything handed to him, everything except for a huge dose of reality.
So, what did the hometown hero do? What else could he do but to come back home with his tail tucked between his legs and all while he never admitting defeat.
By not being prepared to face the real world this high school character never stood a chance.
Never stood a chance at taking the steps forward he needed to succeed in college and college sports.
By not admitting failure this individual would rather go hide under a rock instead of taking the failure as lesson learned and using that L as a stepping stone towards success in something else.
Now that is as far as it got with the Big Man on Campus Mr. Football Star because high school was over. Like so many of my classmates we had other more important things to do than to wonder what the BMOC was up to. I joined the Army and the rest is history.
I made new lifelong friends, started a family, and had a couple of kids all the while knowing that to make a success out of yourself, you have no choice but to know and accept that the only way to get to where you want to be in life is to take ALL the steps you need to take to succeed.
Friends, ignore the fanfare and just put in the work. Start taking all the necessary steps needed because as I have stated before: YOUR SUCCESS AWAITS!

There it is because I said this!
David Guerra

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Accountability Decisionmaking Ethics Inspiration Leadership Morality Motivation positive Tips Walking Leader

2024: About Setbacks and Comebacks

While, last week I talked about Bouncing Back and Rising Strong. This week, consider it a continuation. This week I want to talk about the journey of setbacks and comebacks.

I do believe it was the great modern urban philosopher LL COOL J who once sang, “Don’t call it a comeback, I been here for years. I’m rockin’ my peers, puttin’ suckers in fear…”

In the song “Mama Said Knock You Out” LL COOL J starts the song after he has gotten up and made his comeback, of sorts. But is it really a comeback he is professing? I do not think so. Not at all!

Those who called it a comeback did so because they see who he is now and never paid attention to his journey.

That is OK as they really do not care about his journey, your journey, or anyone else’s journey.

At the same time, there are people that are only around you for the good times but when the bad times roll on in, they are nowhere to be found.

That is because they are on their own journey, they are trying to figure it out.
They are trying to navigate through their life but for those individuals, that journey is usually taking them nowhere or they only go in circles.

However, always remember and never forget just as others are on their own journey, you are on one, as well.

Your journey is taking you places to see and do things you have never seen and done before.

As you are on your journey do not worry about whether others are watching you now or not.

What matters is that you are watching yourself.

Watching what you are doing for yourself now matters the most.

Others will stumble upon you in the future and see what you have done. What you have accomplished.

They will see the person you are, at this moment, and not the person that had to make things happen, make sacrifices. They were not seeing nor worrying about the scratching, scrimping, hustling, and grinding you had to do to get to where you are now.

Those that show up in the good times are not going to see the struggles, the downsides you endured to get to the place you are right now.

Those kinds of individuals are known as “fair weather friends” and if you do not know what that is look it up. The definition may surprise you then again it might be a direct reflection of you. No surprises!

All I can say about that is nothing you can do or say can change the fact that “Fair weather friends” are the WORST kind of people to have around you and in your life.

They will be around you up until the time comes when you need them or something from them. Then, just like magic, POOF, they are gone. Disappeared. No Surprise.

On the other side of that coin, I would be remiss if I did not say something about those that were with you every step of the way.

Those few individuals that saw your struggle, those that saw you rise above and those that helped you when you needed help.

Those are the only ones qualified to call it a comeback because they know.

Now let me clarify before the wrong people start getting the wrong impression.

The people that have stood by your side for the entire ride are those who ate soup and ramen with you when times were tight.

They are the people that understood and stayed home with you when others decided they could not give you the time.

They are the ones that never pulled a punched when others thought it was funny to toy with you.

They are the ones that sat next to you as you cried because you were about to complete a year without a job and you were down to your last fifty bucks in the bank.

They are the ones that helped you get back up and keep going. They are the ones that never gave up on you and made certain you did not give up on yourself.

Those are the only people that are qualified to call it a comeback because they were there when you were at your lowest and they were there when it was time to celebrate.

The ones NOT qualified are those that would rather leave you stranded in another state because no flights are flying because to them any sacrifice was way too much.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones there for the glory but not the hard work.

The ones NOT qualified are the ones that used you as an excuse when they were up to no good and would rather blame you than accept responsibility for their actions or behavior.

The ones that are NOT qualified are the ones that tell you they do not want to talk about what is bothering you because as they profess to others that is what they are there for but ultimately, they do not truly care about you.

But when spotlight shines, like moths they are sure to return to bask in your light and then once the light goes out, they are gone, again (no surprise).

Then all you hear is crickets that is until the spotlight shines again (and it will).

See your story is still being written and in that fact the ups and downs will continue to occur.

So, pick those around you carefully and wisely.

Pick those that are there to bring positivity, love, and care.

Leave out the users, abusers, wannabes, and most of all leave out those that do not truly care about you unless there is something in it for them.

Only those that are with you, every step of the way, know your comeback and just how much that comeback truly means and as the late David Bowie once sang, “the rest can go to hell.”