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What Skills Are We Not Taught But Mastered?

blog post by David G. Guerra

There are two skills that we are never taught but yet we have mastered them?

Have you stopped to think about why we are selfish and impatient? No one taught us to be selfish and impatient.

Mom, Dad, Gramps, Grams, Auntie or Uncle never sat us down and said, “Today I am going to teach you how to be selfish and tomorrow we will talk about how to be impatient.”

I can assure you that never happened. However, I can also assure you they did teach you that.

For reason or another human beings like to adhere to Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection. Basically, it is survival of the one that will do anything to survive. Over time (eons) some ground animals grew wings to escape predators. Others ran faster than their natural enemies, while others moved so slow the predator would believe the animal to be dead. They did what they had to survive, as do humans.

We are selfish because we want. We are impatient because we want it now! The longer we have to wait the greater chance the prize (food, shelter, etc.) goes to someone else. We are selfish because we want to be in control.

So how did we learn to be Selfish and Impatient?

We learned it by observing others be selfish and impatient. Yes, our parents, our siblings, our relatives are who we observed and they most certainly taught us. It may be a hard pill to swallow but it happened, happens, and will happen. There are no two-ways around it.

What now?

You make a conscience effort to minimize being selfish. No one can be 100% selfless. Those that say they are well are only fooling themselves. It is human nature to be selfish. Being selfish is what keeps us alive, it keeps us moving forward.

What about being impatient?

The same as being selfish can be said for being impatient. No one can be 100% patient. Eventually, you give up waiting for the barista to make your Cinnamon Dulce Latte, you walk up to the counter and ask for a status on your order. Being impatient is also human nature, especially when others are getting theirs before you get yours.

So what can you do?

You can work on being less selfish and more patient. However, it is something that you have to work on all your life. Remember, that being selfish and impatient is a reaction to how we deal with others. Others are getting the attention and what about you? What about me? What about I?

Dealing with others will be the only way we grow, live, thrive, and succeed. We need others around us in order to move forward in life. We need others to help keep us grounded. Others will be more or less selfish, more or less patient. Interacting with others will help us move forward, it always has been and it always will.

While being Selfish and Impatient is never taught it is learned. Just like we learned to be impatient and selfish we can also learn to be patient and selfless and whether we like it or not it will take hard work to undo what we learned so long ago and for so long. It can be done. Now get to work.

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blog DareToBe Decisionmaking Entrepreneurship Followership Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

#DareToBe Tweet Chat – Session: 060716

On Tuesday, June 7, 2016 the #DareToBe Tweetchat hosted by Andrea Sanchez (@asanchez16) took place on Twitter.
The #DareToBe topic was LEADERSHIP

The following are Andrea’s ten questions and my answers.


Q1: What image comes to mind when you think of leadership? #DareToBe
A1. All those soldiers, sailors, and airmen on D-DAY. Doing it because it had to get done. All Leaders! #DareToBe

Q2: List three words to describe a leader. #DareToBe
A2. Follower. Maker. Builder. #DareToBe

Q3: What are some common leadership myths? #DareToBe
A3. Biggest Myth: They are all things to all people. Know all. Be all. #DareToBe

Q4: You need _______________ to be a leader. #DareToBe
A4. You need to NOT be afraid to be a GREAT FOLLOWER to be a leader. #DareToBe

Q5: Give a current example of leadership in action that you witnessed. #DareToBe
A5. The first time my Platoon Leader (an officer) jumped in to help every member of the platoon finish their respective foxhole. #DareToBe

Q6: What are some ways we show leadership that we may take for granted? #DareToBe
A6. Ensuring we let others enjoy their time in the spotlight for a job well done. #DareToBe

Q7: Are you a leader? Explain why/why not. #DareToBe
A7. I am because others say I am. I am NOT because I still have so much to learn, experience, and share. #DareToBe

Q8: What are some reasons people use to say they’re not leaders? #DareToBe
A8. They lack experience, the title, and most sadly they ask “who will follow me?” #DareToBe

Q9: Leadership is defined in different ways. How can we help others acknowledge that they’re leaders? #DareToBe
A9. Ask them if they share well with others? If they do they are leaders. Yes, it is that simple. #DareToBe

Q10: Tomorrow I will dare to lead by ________________. #DareToBe
A10. encouraging others to step and take the reins #DareToBe


I invite you to join us on Twitter every Tuesday evening at 8PM Eastern / 7PM Central. Look for the #DARETOBE hashtag.

Categories
DareToBe Decisionmaking Leadership Mentor Walking Leader

#DareToBe Tweet Chat – Session: 051716

On Tuesday, May 17, 2016 the #DareToBe Tweetchat hosted by Andrea Sanchez (@asanchez16) took place.
The #DareToBe topic was QUESTIONS (QUESTIONING, QUESTIONED)

The following are Andrea’s ten questions and my answers.


Q1: What image comes to mind when you think of the topic “questions?” #DareToBe
A1. That old slogan from the Nat’l Enquirer “Enquiring minds want to know.” #DareToBe

Q2: Four-year-olds ask a lot of questions. Why does our questioning decrease as we grow older? #DareToBe
A2. We curtail our amount of questioning because most don’t want people thinking of them as a 4 yr old, unfortunately. #DareToBe

Q3: A side effect of not asking questions is _______________. #DareToBe
A3. not getting to know others and how they think, behave, how they are. #DareToBe

Q4: Give an example of a time when you wished you had asked more questions. Why didn’t you? #DareToBe
A4. before joining the Army. I wished I had asked how to do more in my brief time (I thought I was doing a lot already) #DareToBe

Q5: Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. –Voltaire/ Agree or Disagree? Explain. #DareToBe
A5. Agree. The questions determine what point of view and how deep the thought process goes #DareToBe

Q6: What benefits come from asking questions? #DareToBe
A6. The major benefit is learning more from both the question and the answer #DareToBe

Q7: The key to asking a good question is ________________. #DareToBe
A7. The key to asking a good question is expecting an even better answer #DareToBe

Q8: Is there such thing as a dumb question? Explain. #DareToBe
A8. There is such a thing as a dumb question when it is intentionally asked with malice. #DareToBe

Q9: At times questions create stress. How can we make others feel less threatened by questions? #DareToBe
A9. By explaining the question in as much detail as possible. Don’t bore them but explain that rationale behind the question #DareToBe

Q10: In today’s fast-paced world answers are often rewarded more than questions. How can we shift the focus? #DareToBe
A10. By expecting people to ask questions that are polar opposite of “Who are you wearing?” type questions #DareToBe

Q11: Tomorrow I will dare to ask about ________________. #DareToBe
A11. Tomorrow I will dare to ask about things I don’t usually ask. Starting with more WHY questions. #DareToBe


I invite you to join us on Twitter every Tuesday evening at 8PM Eastern / 7PM Central. Look for the #DARETOBE hashtag.