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What Skills Are We Not Taught But Mastered?

blog post by David G. Guerra

There are two skills that we are never taught but yet we have mastered them?

Have you stopped to think about why we are selfish and impatient? No one taught us to be selfish and impatient.

Mom, Dad, Gramps, Grams, Auntie or Uncle never sat us down and said, “Today I am going to teach you how to be selfish and tomorrow we will talk about how to be impatient.”

I can assure you that never happened. However, I can also assure you they did teach you that.

For reason or another human beings like to adhere to Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection. Basically, it is survival of the one that will do anything to survive. Over time (eons) some ground animals grew wings to escape predators. Others ran faster than their natural enemies, while others moved so slow the predator would believe the animal to be dead. They did what they had to survive, as do humans.

We are selfish because we want. We are impatient because we want it now! The longer we have to wait the greater chance the prize (food, shelter, etc.) goes to someone else. We are selfish because we want to be in control.

So how did we learn to be Selfish and Impatient?

We learned it by observing others be selfish and impatient. Yes, our parents, our siblings, our relatives are who we observed and they most certainly taught us. It may be a hard pill to swallow but it happened, happens, and will happen. There are no two-ways around it.

What now?

You make a conscience effort to minimize being selfish. No one can be 100% selfless. Those that say they are well are only fooling themselves. It is human nature to be selfish. Being selfish is what keeps us alive, it keeps us moving forward.

What about being impatient?

The same as being selfish can be said for being impatient. No one can be 100% patient. Eventually, you give up waiting for the barista to make your Cinnamon Dulce Latte, you walk up to the counter and ask for a status on your order. Being impatient is also human nature, especially when others are getting theirs before you get yours.

So what can you do?

You can work on being less selfish and more patient. However, it is something that you have to work on all your life. Remember, that being selfish and impatient is a reaction to how we deal with others. Others are getting the attention and what about you? What about me? What about I?

Dealing with others will be the only way we grow, live, thrive, and succeed. We need others around us in order to move forward in life. We need others to help keep us grounded. Others will be more or less selfish, more or less patient. Interacting with others will help us move forward, it always has been and it always will.

While being Selfish and Impatient is never taught it is learned. Just like we learned to be impatient and selfish we can also learn to be patient and selfless and whether we like it or not it will take hard work to undo what we learned so long ago and for so long. It can be done. Now get to work.

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blog DareToBe Decisionmaking Entrepreneurship Followership Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

#DareToBe Tweet Chat – Session: 060716

On Tuesday, June 7, 2016 the #DareToBe Tweetchat hosted by Andrea Sanchez (@asanchez16) took place on Twitter.
The #DareToBe topic was LEADERSHIP

The following are Andrea’s ten questions and my answers.


Q1: What image comes to mind when you think of leadership? #DareToBe
A1. All those soldiers, sailors, and airmen on D-DAY. Doing it because it had to get done. All Leaders! #DareToBe

Q2: List three words to describe a leader. #DareToBe
A2. Follower. Maker. Builder. #DareToBe

Q3: What are some common leadership myths? #DareToBe
A3. Biggest Myth: They are all things to all people. Know all. Be all. #DareToBe

Q4: You need _______________ to be a leader. #DareToBe
A4. You need to NOT be afraid to be a GREAT FOLLOWER to be a leader. #DareToBe

Q5: Give a current example of leadership in action that you witnessed. #DareToBe
A5. The first time my Platoon Leader (an officer) jumped in to help every member of the platoon finish their respective foxhole. #DareToBe

Q6: What are some ways we show leadership that we may take for granted? #DareToBe
A6. Ensuring we let others enjoy their time in the spotlight for a job well done. #DareToBe

Q7: Are you a leader? Explain why/why not. #DareToBe
A7. I am because others say I am. I am NOT because I still have so much to learn, experience, and share. #DareToBe

Q8: What are some reasons people use to say they’re not leaders? #DareToBe
A8. They lack experience, the title, and most sadly they ask “who will follow me?” #DareToBe

Q9: Leadership is defined in different ways. How can we help others acknowledge that they’re leaders? #DareToBe
A9. Ask them if they share well with others? If they do they are leaders. Yes, it is that simple. #DareToBe

Q10: Tomorrow I will dare to lead by ________________. #DareToBe
A10. encouraging others to step and take the reins #DareToBe


I invite you to join us on Twitter every Tuesday evening at 8PM Eastern / 7PM Central. Look for the #DARETOBE hashtag.

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About Me blog Change Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

The Rule of 25%

THE RULE OF 25%

Did you know, 1 in 4 people we meet or deal with do NOT like us?

The 25% Rule by David Guerra

What?

That’s right a full 25% of all people do not like us.

How can it be?

It is just human nature. For some reason or another, there are individuals out there that flat out do not like us, no matter what we do or say to try to change their attitude towards us. However, they just won’t budge.

On the bright side, 25% of who we meet or deal with will like us no matter what, no questions asked.

Why just 25%? It is just human nature. For some reason or another they unconditionally LIKE us.

What about the other 50%?

That is simple: 25% don’t you like but when they get to know you will like you.

The last 25%, I call the posers. They start off liking you but quickly find something that they don’t like about you and are gone.

Now don’t get me started with the people that love us but do not like us. It happens, more than you think or want to admit (it is also for a future conversation).

In the mean time, it is time to admit that you will never be able to change the minds of those individuals that do not like you. So stop giving them any attention, giving them your time, and most off all stop giving them any of your energy.

The sooner you stop, the sooner you will start to feel better about yourself. The sooner you will realize that any need for validation from those people is for naught. You can make it without them. You made it this far. It is when you give them attention, time, and energy that you start spinning you wheels and STOP you from moving forward.

STOP giving them anything that drains you and gives them no care because they do not care about you nor do they like you.

KEEP the attention, time, and energy on those that like you.

Genuinely, HONOR those that like you and they will honor you with more people that like you.

Thank you,
David Guerra