Category: Inspiration

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All Roads (In Life) Must Have Curves!

In a recent discussion with a long time friend, I was talking about changes in life and changes are part of of life. I also mentioned that bends in the road (literally and figuratively) are part of that change. When it comes to change in life, the curves are always there. Of course, you can accept those curves or you can stick your head in the sand thus leaving your backside sticking up in the air for the whole world to (well you know where I am going with this). No matter whether your head is in the sand or you are facing the curves head on you nor I can change the fact that the curves are coming whether we like them or not.

There are just so many things in life we cannot change. The twists and turns in life are a guarantee. There are just too many outside factors and influences to make the twist and turns, the curves in the road unavoidable. So don’t fight it. Realize the fact that curves in the road are essential to moving forward. It is critical to growing. When you are moving forward and growing you are winning.

No matter where you go, how careful you are or what you try to do to avoid them, there will always be curves in the road (of life).

Unfortunately, too many people instead of accepting the curves would rather stick their head in the sand and hope the upcoming curves leave their exposed backsides in one piece. Sticking your head in the sand is certainly something that real leaders cannot afford to do. They cannot afford to look weak or appear afraid. A leader that shows fear and acts with fear is not a leader. Sure, it is acceptable to have fear and to be afraid. Fear and being afraid is a healthy part of being a human being. When people look to you to guide them through those curves that is when fear should take a back seat and not be the dominant force that drives or dictates your actions. As a leader, you must control your fear and move forward. Moving forward and moving past the curves is what happens when you gain and maintain control of your fears.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you should be fearless when it comes to facing the curves in life. What I am saying is to know and understand that all curves are there to slow us down when life moves too fast or to help make certain we are on the right path. I see the curves as one of those few warnings that are part of life. Unfortunately, too many don’t see them that way and end up going off track or completely spin out of control. No matter what they do, they cannot change the fact that there will be more curves ahead.

Just like change, there will be some curves we like and there will be some we don’t like, but both are a good thing. It means that we faced a challenge and we either reap the reward or we have to try harder to get to that place where we reach the rewards we are looking for. The curves are the “hard knocks” we have to endure to get there. Whether we like them or not, there is no one size fits all approach to dealing with the curves as they happen. Sure they are a hassle but they are worth it? Of course, the curves are worth it. See anything going through is worth going through so long as you do the best that you can to deal with those issues, as they happen. Sure you can try to prepare for the upcoming curves, just like a road sign warning us before it is too late.

Posted or not, the warning signs are there because there will always be curves in the road (of life). Now you can choose to accept them or you can stick your head in the sand. Personally, accepting the fact there will always be curves ahead makes dealing with those curves a little easier.  Dealing with them head on and not side stepping them or avoiding altogether will get you to where you want to go. Besides the reality is that the path from Point A to Point B is seldom a straight line but one loaded with twists, turns, curves, exit ramps and sometimes, a few dead ends. Then again, a journey navigated on a straight line is rarely any fun and where’s the fun in that. Just keep you eyes on the road and you will get there.

 

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blog Decisionmaking Followership Inspiration Leadership Mentor Motivation

on SILENCE by David Guerra

blog post on Silence

They say “Silence is Golden.” I say Silence is not only golden but platinum, silver, and copper, as well. When it comes to silence, there is a time and place for it. Usually, the time for silence is almost always. Unfortunately, too many of us, me included, do not make use of silence as often and for as long as we ought. It is a sad state that so many of us would rather kick silence to the dark corners and prove to others that all our words will fail to convey the true meaning of the message when a moment of silence would speak volumes.

Silence, to me, is an opportunity to slow down and hear everything that’s all around me. It is even an opportunity to hear myself, both inside and out. When you can hear yourself you hear the real you. You listen to who you are, what you have become, and who you will be. Taking time to listen, in silence, is the moment when you can change the future. You can alter your present and your future, so long as you remember that you cannot alter the past. What is done is done, so don’t dwell on what happened. Remember, living in the past gets you nowhere.

When silence becomes part of who we are, then it can be considered a strength. It is a strength that cannot be gained from going to the gym or from years of therapy. A strength that comes from using that silence to learn about not just others but yourself. However, be careful no to use your silence as a tool to dictate the conversation. What I mean, when people have to work to get a word or two out of you then you are dictating the conversation. Think about it and don’t do it.

Before I move further along you are probably thinking, “what about the quiet people”, the ones that are naturally soft-spoken, quiet. There is nothing wrong with naturally quiet people. Yet, what is wrong is those that naturally categorize quiet people as introverts. Extroverts can be quiet at times, so be careful. Silence is something that spans across all people. It is necessary for our well-being, mental and physical. Silence really does cause us to intentionally slow down. Slowing down, especially from the fast paced life we find ourselves in, is a good thing.

Unfortunately, not all people are comfortable with silence. To some, the silence can be deafening. Those that find themselves uncomfortable feel they need the noise, they make, to know where they are in the world. While it might not be a need to be in control (yes, even with the introverts), it is more of knowing what is happening around them. Who knows, to them, the noise must just be their version of silence.

For most people, the noise consumes us and when the opportunity comes for silence, we welcome it. To get the most out of that silence we must be prepared to go deeper. Deeper in that you can bring out that most in yourself as well as in others by practicing non-verbal communication. For example, looking people in the eye without being creepy or too creepy is something that requires lots and lots of practice. When you have mastered the eye contact you are well on your way to non-verbal communication skills mastery.

Of course, another way to master non-verbal communication is to know when to be quiet. One thing that I use as an indicator the time has come to be quiet is when individuals start repeating the same 4 or 5 word sentence. When the conversation comes to a complete halt and nothing will advance until silence arrives. Most people have a difficult time determining when the time is right to be silent. So practice silence. I know easier said than done, it can be done.  Try holding a conversation in a library and you will see that while somewhat difficult, it can be done.

Be prepared for a stern look or a simple index finger raised to the mouth with a ssshhh sound from the librarian, at first. Don’t let that stop you, keep working creating silence and using it to your advantage. Use it, especially when you know you need it. Heck, use silence when you don’t need it. Silence can be done alone or with a group, as silence can draw people together either by curiosity or solidarity. No matter what the reason, remember that silence is golden and to practice it constantly.

–David Guerra

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blog Change Decisionmaking Entrepreneurship Followership Inspiration Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

on ENGAGEMENT by David Guerra

on Engagement

There are various kinds of engagement. People get engaged to one another and call it an engagement. People attack the enemy and that is also called an engagement (as in to engage the enemy). Then social engagements are those black tie affairs. What do they all have in common (yes, all)?

People interacting with each other. Some interact for love, some interact for hate, some interact to put on airs, whatever the reason the engagement usually does not last long. Either they marry, the battle ends, or the band plays the last song of the evening.

Thus to engage means to connect on many levels with others; to be more than just present in the moment. When considering a person engaged, he or she carries one characteristic, whether they admit it or not; they are open-minded. An engaged person has to be open-minded to be fully receptive and understanding of those they engage with. They also expects that same open-mindedness in others. Engagement by the examples I mentioned at the start of this post is a dialogue (of sorts), a two-way interaction.

While one side of the engagement has to take the initiative to get things started it is never fully comes from within. Engagement requires external forces to drive it. Think Newton’s 1st Law: Body is at rest until a force changes that. If a battle is one sided well that’s a good thing (if you are on the winning side) but if in an engagement only one individual wants to marry and the other does not, well that’s creepy and a restraining order may be in order.

Restraining orders notwithstanding, engagement is probably one of the best motivation tool anyone can have to get stuff done. As all parties involved become engaged when each individual or group brings something to the interaction that the other side sees as worthy of engagement. Mutually assured engagement is what completes the interaction and elevates it to a higher level.

This motivation to elevate the engagement and the ability to maintain the engagement until its inevitable conclusion. Motivation to engage is critical for all concerned. Maintaining that motivation is critical to any current and future engagements. The motivation that comes from knowing that at any moment something good is going to happen is the prime factor to motivate most people. It can be catalyst to inspire others to go further and deeper create and achieve others goals when it comes to engaging with others.

The start of the new year is a great time to launch new engagement initiatives. For a long time, people consider the new year as the best time of the year for change as it brings a clean slate to the calendar. The start of the new year is an opportunity to make things better than last year. Yet, engagement does not come without its own issues.

There always have been and always will be barriers to engagement. Time, space, language are such barriers but they are also barriers to just about anything else. When it comes to engagement, the barrier that most will cringe over is the topic or reason of the engagement. When the topic or reason is polarizing to all those participating, the barrier to engagement becomes great especially when others are directly or indirectly affected. The resulting affect of the barrier is either an abrupt end or failure to launch of the engagement. Thus the importance  of getting everyone on board before, during and after the engagement is critical.

In the workplace, employee engagement does enhance their own sense of wellbeing. When employees engage they are participating. Leaders, the good ones, know what’s what and not wondering what’s up when they know their employees are engaging and part of what is going on.

While within any organization there individuals that come in all shapes and sizes, there are introverts and extroverts, and all of them focus on the organization’s mission and vision. However, when it comes to engagement, it is essential for management and leadership to understand and accept there is no cookie cutter approach to engagement. So long as everyone understands the message both management and employees must do what it takes to make positive engagement so.

While all employees must engage, the need to understand that there will be individual nuances between the generations (Gen X, Millennials, etc.) is another aspect that can quickly become a barrier or catalyst to positive engagement. Leaders must ensure that all generations within the organization are openly and actively communicating with each other. Dialogue becomes a critical function of opening and maintaining positive and empowering communication among all the members of the organization.

As a leader, it is your duty to help others feel and be more engaged.  Any true leader will ensure that all employees are engaging and ready to elevate the level of the current engagement. When followers are not on-board, the primary task of the leader becomes that of getting those followers on-board and actively engaging. A good example of leading by example will go a long way to actively pursuing engagement for those that are having a little trouble getting the picture or getting started with engagement at all levels.

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