Categories
blog Followership Leadership Tips Walking Leader

What Skills Are We Not Taught But Mastered?

blog post by David G. Guerra

There are two skills that we are never taught but yet we have mastered them?

Have you stopped to think about why we are selfish and impatient? No one taught us to be selfish and impatient.

Mom, Dad, Gramps, Grams, Auntie or Uncle never sat us down and said, “Today I am going to teach you how to be selfish and tomorrow we will talk about how to be impatient.”

I can assure you that never happened. However, I can also assure you they did teach you that.

For reason or another human beings like to adhere to Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection. Basically, it is survival of the one that will do anything to survive. Over time (eons) some ground animals grew wings to escape predators. Others ran faster than their natural enemies, while others moved so slow the predator would believe the animal to be dead. They did what they had to survive, as do humans.

We are selfish because we want. We are impatient because we want it now! The longer we have to wait the greater chance the prize (food, shelter, etc.) goes to someone else. We are selfish because we want to be in control.

So how did we learn to be Selfish and Impatient?

We learned it by observing others be selfish and impatient. Yes, our parents, our siblings, our relatives are who we observed and they most certainly taught us. It may be a hard pill to swallow but it happened, happens, and will happen. There are no two-ways around it.

What now?

You make a conscience effort to minimize being selfish. No one can be 100% selfless. Those that say they are well are only fooling themselves. It is human nature to be selfish. Being selfish is what keeps us alive, it keeps us moving forward.

What about being impatient?

The same as being selfish can be said for being impatient. No one can be 100% patient. Eventually, you give up waiting for the barista to make your Cinnamon Dulce Latte, you walk up to the counter and ask for a status on your order. Being impatient is also human nature, especially when others are getting theirs before you get yours.

So what can you do?

You can work on being less selfish and more patient. However, it is something that you have to work on all your life. Remember, that being selfish and impatient is a reaction to how we deal with others. Others are getting the attention and what about you? What about me? What about I?

Dealing with others will be the only way we grow, live, thrive, and succeed. We need others around us in order to move forward in life. We need others to help keep us grounded. Others will be more or less selfish, more or less patient. Interacting with others will help us move forward, it always has been and it always will.

While being Selfish and Impatient is never taught it is learned. Just like we learned to be impatient and selfish we can also learn to be patient and selfless and whether we like it or not it will take hard work to undo what we learned so long ago and for so long. It can be done. Now get to work.

Categories
About Me blog Change Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

The Rule of 25%

THE RULE OF 25%

Did you know, 1 in 4 people we meet or deal with do NOT like us?

The 25% Rule by David Guerra

What?

That’s right a full 25% of all people do not like us.

How can it be?

It is just human nature. For some reason or another, there are individuals out there that flat out do not like us, no matter what we do or say to try to change their attitude towards us. However, they just won’t budge.

On the bright side, 25% of who we meet or deal with will like us no matter what, no questions asked.

Why just 25%? It is just human nature. For some reason or another they unconditionally LIKE us.

What about the other 50%?

That is simple: 25% don’t you like but when they get to know you will like you.

The last 25%, I call the posers. They start off liking you but quickly find something that they don’t like about you and are gone.

Now don’t get me started with the people that love us but do not like us. It happens, more than you think or want to admit (it is also for a future conversation).

In the mean time, it is time to admit that you will never be able to change the minds of those individuals that do not like you. So stop giving them any attention, giving them your time, and most off all stop giving them any of your energy.

The sooner you stop, the sooner you will start to feel better about yourself. The sooner you will realize that any need for validation from those people is for naught. You can make it without them. You made it this far. It is when you give them attention, time, and energy that you start spinning you wheels and STOP you from moving forward.

STOP giving them anything that drains you and gives them no care because they do not care about you nor do they like you.

KEEP the attention, time, and energy on those that like you.

Genuinely, HONOR those that like you and they will honor you with more people that like you.

Thank you,
David Guerra

Categories
DareToBe Decisionmaking Leadership Mentor Walking Leader

#DareToBe Tweet Chat – Session: 051716

On Tuesday, May 17, 2016 the #DareToBe Tweetchat hosted by Andrea Sanchez (@asanchez16) took place.
The #DareToBe topic was QUESTIONS (QUESTIONING, QUESTIONED)

The following are Andrea’s ten questions and my answers.


Q1: What image comes to mind when you think of the topic “questions?” #DareToBe
A1. That old slogan from the Nat’l Enquirer “Enquiring minds want to know.” #DareToBe

Q2: Four-year-olds ask a lot of questions. Why does our questioning decrease as we grow older? #DareToBe
A2. We curtail our amount of questioning because most don’t want people thinking of them as a 4 yr old, unfortunately. #DareToBe

Q3: A side effect of not asking questions is _______________. #DareToBe
A3. not getting to know others and how they think, behave, how they are. #DareToBe

Q4: Give an example of a time when you wished you had asked more questions. Why didn’t you? #DareToBe
A4. before joining the Army. I wished I had asked how to do more in my brief time (I thought I was doing a lot already) #DareToBe

Q5: Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. –Voltaire/ Agree or Disagree? Explain. #DareToBe
A5. Agree. The questions determine what point of view and how deep the thought process goes #DareToBe

Q6: What benefits come from asking questions? #DareToBe
A6. The major benefit is learning more from both the question and the answer #DareToBe

Q7: The key to asking a good question is ________________. #DareToBe
A7. The key to asking a good question is expecting an even better answer #DareToBe

Q8: Is there such thing as a dumb question? Explain. #DareToBe
A8. There is such a thing as a dumb question when it is intentionally asked with malice. #DareToBe

Q9: At times questions create stress. How can we make others feel less threatened by questions? #DareToBe
A9. By explaining the question in as much detail as possible. Don’t bore them but explain that rationale behind the question #DareToBe

Q10: In today’s fast-paced world answers are often rewarded more than questions. How can we shift the focus? #DareToBe
A10. By expecting people to ask questions that are polar opposite of “Who are you wearing?” type questions #DareToBe

Q11: Tomorrow I will dare to ask about ________________. #DareToBe
A11. Tomorrow I will dare to ask about things I don’t usually ask. Starting with more WHY questions. #DareToBe


I invite you to join us on Twitter every Tuesday evening at 8PM Eastern / 7PM Central. Look for the #DARETOBE hashtag.