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What Skills Are We Not Taught But Mastered?

blog post by David G. Guerra

There are two skills that we are never taught but yet we have mastered them?

Have you stopped to think about why we are selfish and impatient? No one taught us to be selfish and impatient.

Mom, Dad, Gramps, Grams, Auntie or Uncle never sat us down and said, “Today I am going to teach you how to be selfish and tomorrow we will talk about how to be impatient.”

I can assure you that never happened. However, I can also assure you they did teach you that.

For reason or another human beings like to adhere to Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection. Basically, it is survival of the one that will do anything to survive. Over time (eons) some ground animals grew wings to escape predators. Others ran faster than their natural enemies, while others moved so slow the predator would believe the animal to be dead. They did what they had to survive, as do humans.

We are selfish because we want. We are impatient because we want it now! The longer we have to wait the greater chance the prize (food, shelter, etc.) goes to someone else. We are selfish because we want to be in control.

So how did we learn to be Selfish and Impatient?

We learned it by observing others be selfish and impatient. Yes, our parents, our siblings, our relatives are who we observed and they most certainly taught us. It may be a hard pill to swallow but it happened, happens, and will happen. There are no two-ways around it.

What now?

You make a conscience effort to minimize being selfish. No one can be 100% selfless. Those that say they are well are only fooling themselves. It is human nature to be selfish. Being selfish is what keeps us alive, it keeps us moving forward.

What about being impatient?

The same as being selfish can be said for being impatient. No one can be 100% patient. Eventually, you give up waiting for the barista to make your Cinnamon Dulce Latte, you walk up to the counter and ask for a status on your order. Being impatient is also human nature, especially when others are getting theirs before you get yours.

So what can you do?

You can work on being less selfish and more patient. However, it is something that you have to work on all your life. Remember, that being selfish and impatient is a reaction to how we deal with others. Others are getting the attention and what about you? What about me? What about I?

Dealing with others will be the only way we grow, live, thrive, and succeed. We need others around us in order to move forward in life. We need others to help keep us grounded. Others will be more or less selfish, more or less patient. Interacting with others will help us move forward, it always has been and it always will.

While being Selfish and Impatient is never taught it is learned. Just like we learned to be impatient and selfish we can also learn to be patient and selfless and whether we like it or not it will take hard work to undo what we learned so long ago and for so long. It can be done. Now get to work.

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About Me blog Change Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

The Rule of 25%

THE RULE OF 25%

Did you know, 1 in 4 people we meet or deal with do NOT like us?

The 25% Rule by David Guerra

What?

That’s right a full 25% of all people do not like us.

How can it be?

It is just human nature. For some reason or another, there are individuals out there that flat out do not like us, no matter what we do or say to try to change their attitude towards us. However, they just won’t budge.

On the bright side, 25% of who we meet or deal with will like us no matter what, no questions asked.

Why just 25%? It is just human nature. For some reason or another they unconditionally LIKE us.

What about the other 50%?

That is simple: 25% don’t you like but when they get to know you will like you.

The last 25%, I call the posers. They start off liking you but quickly find something that they don’t like about you and are gone.

Now don’t get me started with the people that love us but do not like us. It happens, more than you think or want to admit (it is also for a future conversation).

In the mean time, it is time to admit that you will never be able to change the minds of those individuals that do not like you. So stop giving them any attention, giving them your time, and most off all stop giving them any of your energy.

The sooner you stop, the sooner you will start to feel better about yourself. The sooner you will realize that any need for validation from those people is for naught. You can make it without them. You made it this far. It is when you give them attention, time, and energy that you start spinning you wheels and STOP you from moving forward.

STOP giving them anything that drains you and gives them no care because they do not care about you nor do they like you.

KEEP the attention, time, and energy on those that like you.

Genuinely, HONOR those that like you and they will honor you with more people that like you.

Thank you,
David Guerra

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blog Change Decisionmaking Entrepreneurship Followership Leadership Mentor Motivation Walking Leader

ON MENTORSHIP

The Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary defines Mentor as “someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.” Mentorship is the art of being a mentor.

WHY IS MENTORSHIP IMPORTANT?

When it comes to moving forward into the future, looking back to the past is the usually the best thing to do. Sure, we are told to be bold and take that step into the uncertain future. However, what happens when we are taking a step on a path someone else has already taken? That is not good.

Simply, we are walking down a beaten path. While the beaten path is great to take when going down to the corner market for a gallon of milk, it is most certainly not the best to take when you want to do something new and exciting. When you want to blaze a trail into the unknown.

Having a Mentor is one way to avoid taking the path others have taken time and again. Thus, the individual being mentored can spend more time moving forward and less time walking where others have walked.

Mentorship has been around for ages. Ever since Homo habilis (early man) took his son out to hunt for the first time. Dad showed his would be hunter son which stick to use on the menacing Mastodon and which stones to use on the Saber-tooth tiger down by the watering hole. Then when the son grew up and had a son of his own, he passed on not only Dad’s tips and tricks to hunting Saber-tooth tiger but he added what he learned on his own. The when that son grew up, the entire process of teaching how to hunt is repeated and each time just a bit more is added. That process makes every subsequent generation better at hunting and thus here we are. Humans. Top of the Food Chain.

WHO SHOULD BE A MENTOR?

If you have something to teach, Teach!
If you have something to share with others, Share it!
If you find yourself with followers, Lead!
When you find people turn to you for answers. You are a MENTOR!

In essence, what I am trying to say is EVERYONE should recognize they are a mentor. No matter what your vocation is (if you have one) and no matter where you are in life, you will always have someone looking to you for advice, guidance, or direction.

Important to remember, when you open your mouth to say something is NOT the time you become a mentor. You become a mentor the moment some has come to you seeking that advice.

WHO SHOULD BE MENTORED?

If you have a question, someone must be answer it.
If you do not know how to do something, someone must teach you.
If you find yourself looking for direction, someone must show you.

In essence, what I am trying to say is EVERYONE should be mentored. No matter what rung on the company ladder you find yourself, you need a mentor. You need to remember that you cannot do everything that you want to do all at once. Better men and women than you have tried. Some succeeded but most failed. That is why; you must seek out their knowledge and wisdom to help avoid those mistakes. Therefore, if you fail the damage might not be as bad or big as those that failed before you. You will have learned something for the next attempt.

While all of us have something to give and share with others, we also have much more to learn from others. I leave you with bit of advice: find a mentor and be one for others.


David Guerra is a US Army Veteran, Author, Small Business Starter, Leadership Advocate and Action Taker.
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