Hello, again.
It has been a while since my last blog post. I had to take a little down time as the holidays started to ramp up just to get my “headspace and timing” aligned, in line, make myself ready to see the end of the year arrive, and to execute on the start of the new year.
Can you believe 2025 is now just days away? Before it comes to an end I want to take this blog post and a couple more to reflect on some of my observations, actions, reactions, and behaviors that affected my life in 2024.
So let’s begin, shall we?
The first reflection as the title says is about CONTROL.
Personal Control that borders on Intimidating Control/Abusive Behavior.
Early in 2024, I experienced someone was exerting on the individuals they are “supposed” to be leading/managing. They would be quick to snap at people, the individual would instigate confrontations in order to find themselves on top. To re-assure themselves they had control over others.
I get it. People are different. People react to the actions of others in a different way for any number of reasons.
Well, come to find out this individual was losing a close relative. This individual was watching their loved one slowly and, from what I have been able to put together, painfully reach their end of life. Then it all made sense. The behavior became crystal clear. They found themselves in a situation they could not control. There was pain and suffering and there was nothing this individual could do about it. They had no control.
It made all the sense in the world why they lashed out, why they behaved the way they did. It was completely understandable. NOT EXCUSABLE.
True, Genuine Leaders know their limits. They know when they can no longer effectively lead others. Leaders, while human beings, must also know when it is time to step aside. It is when they either do not know themselves or refuse to accept that things are out of their control that they continue to lose control and ultimately lose the respect of those they are supposed to be leading. Again, it is not excusable.
If you ever find yourself in a situation that is putting you in a place of where you feel you no longer have control and before you abusively try to control others CHECK YOURSELF and if need be, step aside. You will most certainly thank yourself.
While that is one incident, late in 2024, another individual’s lack of control and attempting to be abusive to others reared its ugly head, again. An older gentleman suddenly found himself in a health situation that all but took away his freedom. Sure he was alive, able to walk, talk, eat, and breathe. He, however, was tethered to a machine and did not know if he would ever be free of that machine. It was obvious in hearing his voice his frustration came out loud and clear. It was just a matter of time before he lashed out.
Then one day, it all came out. His sense of losing control of his life came pouring out of him. A river of obscenities, racial slurs, derogatory statements about genders, sexual preferences, and orientations. This guy was way out of line. At first, you felt a bit sorry for him and his situation, then by the end of my interactions with this person, I felt nothing but disdain, disgust, and sadness what his situation made him into and that deep down he was always that angry, hate-filled person.
In the case of the older man, while people may want to excuse his behavior and allow it to continue. LEADERS do NOT have that luxury. You will be held accountable for your actions, inaction, words, and behaviors. There are other people involved in the life you have chosen and if you cannot lead them, STEP ASIDE.
If nothing else, you can CONTROL that aspect of your life. Yes, it is that simple.
Thank you,
David Guerra
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