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Accountability Change Ethics Inspiration Leadership Leadership Principles Mentor Morale Morality Motivation positive

2024: TAKE CHARGE! TAKE ACTION!

This week, I want to talk about taking charge and leading yourself.
Yep, a topic that is near and dear to my heart. You could call it my passion and that topic is SELF-LEADERSHIP.

For so long I did not know I was NOT actually in control of my life.
I was a people pleaser. I was the “nice guy.” The “don’t rock the boat” person. The Never Say No person. They knew where they stood with me. To people close to me and distant, I was just a shiny beacon for those that want to take advantage of someone, there I was.

For most of my life, I felt that was not in control of my life. Others were taking me in the direction they wanted me to go. Some had good intentions while others were just there to string me along for their sadistic pleasure.

Then over time, I started to realize that my priorities were wrong. I was willfully handing over power to those to use it or abuse it and use and abuse me, as well.

Then came a day when the breaking point was reached.

I had had enough of the lies, the manipulation and most importantly being blamed for their shortfalls and their inadequacies. I found myself in a place that something had to give, something had to happen.

It was time for me to TAKE ACTION.

It was then and there that I had to take a long hard look at myself and see where I was and where I wanted to be.

I re-assessed my place in life. Then I made the changes I felt I had to make to keep my marriage intact, free from third party influences, keeping myself present in the lives of my children. Just like that I had to do what I had to do to keep myself where I had to be as well as on the path to where I was going.

It has been a very rough road and as I am still on it, it continues to be rough. However, when it comes to being the leader of your world, a leader of your own life there will be times you have to do what must be done. That is non-negotiable.

What is also non-negotiable, is that you will be tested. Tested every day.

You will be tested by people that are looking out for your own interest.
You will be tested by people that are not looking out for you, at all.
Of course, there will be some that will not be test you but attempts will be made by individuals that believe you deserve nothing and they deserve everything you can give them. No questions asked.

These tests can be huge challenges when you find yourself worrying more about them than you worry about yourself.

However, these tests are nothing and should mean nothing to you as the only test you should take in life is you doing what you can to be better today than you were yesterday.

See, at the end of the day, there is a certainty that no one can ever change: you are responsible for yourself.

Many will fight you but at some point, in life, things must change, you must change. Remember change is part of growth.

A harsh reality is that at some point in our lives our parents will NEVER stop being our parents but they will stop parenting us and let us live our lives based on what they were able to do and NOT do in raising us, yet all the while they are hoping for the best for us.

People you once called friends may at one point or another stop being friends only to become someone you used to know.

And some people will attempt to gravitate back in your life but for what reason or why?

If they used you as a scapegoat in the past, are they looking to do that again? If that is the case, well they have not changed but you have changed. Remember that.

You are not that person anymore.
You are the leader of your life and your responsibilities.

It is not up to them anymore. It is all on YOU!

Your Future Awaits!

Thank you for your time,
David Guerra

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Accountability blog Change Decisionmaking Ethics Inspiration Leadership Motivation positive

2024: Take All The Steps Forward

Welcome.
All my life it has been my privileged honor to be witness some wonderful things, places, events, and people.
At the same time, I have witnessed some of the most inhumane things that man can do to another man, either in the name of the family, pride, ego, religion, greed, or gluttony or any combination thereof.
All the while both, the good and the bad, have inspired me to keep moving forward.
Now, moving forward means that you will continue to encounter things that will challenge you, that will motivate you, and of course, things that will make you stop dead in your tracks.
However, none of that should cause or prevent you from moving forward. From taking that next step and the next step after that and so on.
Remember, it is the journey and not the destination is the true adventure.
No matter the destination, the journey begins with the first step. However, the real journey takes place when you take that second, third, fourth and every step afterward moving forward.
Over my lifetime I have seen so many individuals be celebrated for the journey they are about to undertake. They make the plans, take that first step, then nothing.
Nothing because they failed to consider the next step and all the other steps ahead of them.
The first time I saw this was back in High School when a “football player” receive a FULL ride scholarship to Notre Dame university. Big fanfare, a huge accolade for what today would be a slightly above average high school football player. So, this guy leaves and the next thing I know he is an office manager at his father’s real estate agency. See he could not hack it, both academically and athletically.
He may have been a big fish in the small pond that was high school, so naturally college was going to be a cake-walk or so he thought. Like so many others that have had reality slap them in the face, he was wrong and properly awaken to the real world.
Once on campus, yes, he did make it to the Notre Dame campus, but he quickly found himself as a tiny guppy in a huge pond full of piranhas. He was no longer big man on campus.
Now he was just like everyone else. Just like everyone else.
This is where being the big man on campus becomes a huge disservice to anyone who always had it handed to them and never held accountable for their actions or inactions and in turn this guy never thought he had to ask for help. Because as I mentioned he had everything handed to him, everything except for a huge dose of reality.
So, what did the hometown hero do? What else could he do but to come back home with his tail tucked between his legs and all while he never admitting defeat.
By not being prepared to face the real world this high school character never stood a chance.
Never stood a chance at taking the steps forward he needed to succeed in college and college sports.
By not admitting failure this individual would rather go hide under a rock instead of taking the failure as lesson learned and using that L as a stepping stone towards success in something else.
Now that is as far as it got with the Big Man on Campus Mr. Football Star because high school was over. Like so many of my classmates we had other more important things to do than to wonder what the BMOC was up to. I joined the Army and the rest is history.
I made new lifelong friends, started a family, and had a couple of kids all the while knowing that to make a success out of yourself, you have no choice but to know and accept that the only way to get to where you want to be in life is to take ALL the steps you need to take to succeed.
Friends, ignore the fanfare and just put in the work. Start taking all the necessary steps needed because as I have stated before: YOUR SUCCESS AWAITS!

There it is because I said this!
David Guerra

Categories
Leadership

2024: CONQUER YOURSELF

Can you believe we are at the end of February?
Two months down and 10 more to go.

Now I am going to ask you a question and if it makes you feel uncomfortable to answer it, then you are the one that needs to hear this.
If you feel very comfortable answering this question then you are not ready to be better that you were yesterday.

See, it is all about being uncomfortable.

Here is the question: WHY ARE YOU NOT CONQUERING YOURSELF?

Are you not conquering yourself because you are afraid?

Afraid of what others will think?

Are you not conquering yourself because you are afraid of what happens after you achieve something.

When it comes to being a conqueror, a warrior, there is everything to be afraid of.

Not what you were expecting me to say?

Let me repeat that. When it comes to being a conqueror or a warrior, there is everything to be afraid of.

I mean that you can try to fool other people into thinking you are not afraid or that you got this.

However, the truth is the opposite.

Everyone that is moving into a new place in life, a new position in this world the uncertainty is what creates the fear. There is no avoiding this fact.

And if you are hell bent on saying you are not afraid then you are one of two things:
You are a damn liar or you are ONLY fooling yourself by lying to yourself.

There is not wrong with admitting you have fears. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting your fears but doing what must be done anyway.

What is WRONG is NOT admitting your fears. By not admitting you have fears, you let fear overtake you. Fear takes root and because you are not ready to stand up and admit you have fears, you will never truly be ready to conqueror yourself or your life.

Instead of facing your fear head on, you would rather cower and never move beyond what you already are.

I know it sounds harsh but I am speaking my truth. I would cower enough that I would get nothing done. I would start but never see it through. I was the perfect fodder for those that were looking for someone to take advantage of, use as a scapegoat, to blame for their own inadequacies on and so on.

Folks, at some point, enough is enough.

At some point you must stop being afraid and take charge of your life by taking charge of fear. Whether others like it or not.

A word of warning, they are NOT going to like it. They are not going to like it because how dare you decide enough is enough and who are you to decide it is time to be the master of your fate?

They want you they way they have always known you.

They want you under their thumb because there you can never be better; there they can control you. Under their thumb they can keep an eye on you and there they can decide what is best for you all while they have absolutely no clue as to what is best for themselves.

The time will come and you must change. To live and grow you have no choice but to do what is best for you.

To Conquer you must conquer yourself first. Then you can conquer everything else in your life.

So, it is OK to be afraid. Go out and conquer because you got the power.

You make it happen!

There ya go. I said it!

David Guerra, MA, MBA