DAVID GUERRA, MA, MBA

The title of this week’s blog post is “About Bad-Mouthing Leaders and/or Others”
First off, DO NOT DO IT!

Second, if you are doing it or have done it in the past…JUST STOP!

Seriously, there is absolutely no need for that to happen.

So, what if they are bad mouthing you?

Consider the following: Is anyone that is professional more apt to stoop down to the level of having no option than to bad-mouth others? NO!

A Professional remains a Professional 100% of the time. Professionals do not believe in a “time out” to bad-mouth someone who bad mouthed them.

If anyone that claims they are always “professional” decides it is correct and proper to cast their “professionalism” aside just to get back at someone then they were NEVER a professional to begin with.

CHANGE MY MIND.

These individuals are the “do as I say and not as I do” type. They will never actually be professionals. The kind of professional that people respect, admire, look up to. They will never be leaders. They will never be leaders because leaders find other ways to deal with those they have conflict.

What if you are caught in the path of bad-mouthing? What if you find yourself in the presence of someone bad-mouthing a peer, co-worker, colleague, a supervisor, a manager, a boss, a leader?
First off, let them rant. Unless, you are prepared to be the victim of their next tirade do not stop them. These individuals have done this once or twice and have gotten away with it. So, what’s the use of trying to stop them now?

When they are done, make it clear that everyone heard their outside voice and leave it at that. While this might not stop them from doing it again in front of witnesses, they should, at least, give it a second thought before they open their mouth, again. Remember this, if they say “I don’t care who hears me!” Keep in mind, if they had any guts they would bad-mouth their target to their face. Face-to-Face. However, most of those boisterous individuals are just all talk and no guts whatsoever. To spot a coward all you must do is just watch and listen. They always give themselves away.

Now…it’s your turn!

As an up-and-coming leader, it is your responsibility to control yourself, your emotions, your words, your reactions, and most of all, control your situation. In my recent and not so recent past I have been guilty of not maintaining control of myself, my words, my situations. That’s OK as learning to control yourself comes with time. It is part of learning and growing.
Things are not always black and white but they are there to teach us. They are there for us to learn from. We serve ourselves best when we learn from our mistakes and NOT repeat them. However, be prepared to make more mistakes. I know I have and I know I will.

Final Thoughts: Bad-mouthing others never solves anything. It does, however, help in showing your true colors, who you really are, to those that are caught in the shadow of your rude words and deeds.

Be Better by learning to stop before you start.

Thank you,
David Guerra

P.S. I invite you to follow me on social media:
Instagram: Dave_Guerra
X/Twitter: @DaveGuerra
Facebook: fb.com/thedavidguerra

Let’s break out the old Webster Dictionary to start this one off as these vocabulary words will be on this week’s spelling test.

Wheat is defined as “a cereal grain that yields a fine white flour used chiefly in breads, baked goods (such as cakes and crackers), and pastas (such as macaroni or spaghetti), and is important in animal feeds.”

Chaff is defined as literally, the “seed coverings and other debris separated from the seed in threshing grain” and figuratively as “something comparatively worthless.” Now with those unpleasantries out of the way let us get on with it.

When it comes to being a leader, a self-leader, or the leader of others it is imperative that you become proficient in knowing what is the chaff and what is the wheat. What is important and what is worthless.
In relationship building there will come times that you will find yourself up against what is real and what is not. It serves you to learn the difference sooner rather than later. The sooner you can recognize what is valuable and what is completely worthless the sooner you and those you will, eventually, lead will be better off.

So how does one go about learning how to separate the wheat from the chaff? The process may sound simple but rest assured the process involves making mistakes and learning from those mistakes so as NOT to repeat the mistakes but to get to separating the VALUABLE from the WORTHLESS faster and easier.

TIME is both an ally and an enemy in this process. It is an enemy as it will take time to experience the good and bad. Time is an ally in that the sooner you learn, the less often getting exploited by your ignorance or naivety will occur. Do not worry, people will take advantage of your ignorance and innocence (well not all people, just the ones with their own hidden agenda). Also, be advised people will be quick to figure out that you are satisfied buying the chaff they will not bother to sell you the wheat.

Time is the enemy in that this will happen over and over again until you get it. Therefore, it behooves you to get on the fast track to getting the experience and learning from it. Remember, the adage: “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.”

Do everything you can to not to fall into the latter part of that maxim. Do your work, get your feelings hurt, take the L, and whatever else it takes to get the experience. However, do not go actively looking for people to cheat you, rob you, steal from you or do bad things to you all for the sake of getting the experience. No. Never do that. Let it happen naturally. Let it happen organically without any kind of intentional coercion or subversion. You will learn more when it comes at you unexpectedly. Trust me on this one.

Besides, where is the fun when you know its coming? Right, it is no fun at all especially when you expect the wheat and none of the chaff.

With that being said, the time to find yourself getting better is now. There is no better time than the present so get to learning and start separating the wheat from the chaff.

As for what to do with all that chaff? Plain and simple, just throw it away along with yesterday’s garbage. Get rid of it and eventually you will find yourself encountering less and less chaff and more of that golden wheat.

Thank you,
David Guerra

P.S. I invite you to follow me on social media:
Instagram: Dave_Guerra
X/Twitter: @DaveGuerra
Facebook: fb.com/thedavidguerra